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You know, I tried really hard for a long time to "make it" in fandom media. I got a big taste of it early on, and was intoxicated by the prestige, the access and feeling like the things I love had started to give something to me instead of just the other way around.
The truth is, though, I couldn't cut it. I just don't have the energy required for the thing that fandom media seems to reward, at least if you're not already connected to a big outlet with a built-in audience: constant, unending outrage.
I love the things that I love because...well, I love them. If something comes along that I don't like, then I acknowledge it, explain myself and try -- TRY -- to just move on. But the "content" machine doesn't reward that. It rewards something darker.
I've seen it firsthand. People I had previously connected with over shared, positive interests fell into and fed that machine, and turned into almost entirely different people, at least in terms of how they publicly represent themselves. I can't do that. Or, I won't...same thing.
This is well before the fact that if you're lucky enough to break into fan media AND get paid for it, you will NOT be valued. You're a dime a dozen, after all, so you'll get scraps. Nothing even close to enough to actually live off of.
(Unless you work for that aforementioned prestige outlet with an enormous built-in audience.)
One thing I did gain, though, was experience. I learned my way around the written word. I'm grateful to the people who gave me my earliest opportunities on the volunteer side, because it was them that allowed me to graduate to paid jobs, which then led to more experience.
And since I can write because of that experience, I found wholly new opportunities beyond fandom that I could not only do, but that I could do while feeling and BEING valued for what I bring to the table.
The small, but dedicated audience I've managed to cultivate through my fan-oriented endeavors means a lot to me. The people who do enjoy my work are always kind, respectful and enthusiastic fellow fans in the same way that I am. So, I'm not going anywhere.
But I've learned to be content with what I have, which is occasionally engaging with good, like-minded people about shared interests, and writing and podcasting about comics or Star Trek or video games because I enjoy it, and love the people I get to connect with by doing it.
People like @Hermann22, @StubbyStan, @zakiscorner, @MrSeanGerber, @blarcade, @cbake76, @panelstopixels, @BATMANONFILM, @smb_ryan and many others. Fellow fans, and friends.
And @johnbierly was absolutely in that club, and will always be the focus of many of my best memories connected with talking about the things we loved.
I guess this is a long, belabored way of saying that if you're reading this and have ever found value in my voice, thank you.
This is me, not going off to some pie-in-the-sky job at WB or IGN, but hopefully getting to share why the things I love are the things I love.
Thanks.
This is me, not going off to some pie-in-the-sky job at WB or IGN, but hopefully getting to share why the things I love are the things I love.
Thanks.
