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Four years ago around this time. I sat on my sofa at home, watching the news. I was 100% sure, as I had been for a very long time, that the outcome would be a leave vote. But there’s always hope, of course. So I still hoped. As someone without a vote it was all I could do anyway.
I rarely drink on my own, but that evening I had gin & tonic as the news came in. @Edinburgh_Gin, I still remember that. A British friend texted that exit polls looked ok. I texted back: ‘this won’t end well.’ I cannot tell you how much I wish I had been wrong. It was not to be.
I did not shed any tears—I think that’s because I had expected the leave result. I was not shocked either. Not even angry. My prevailing sense was one of profound sadness. About the loss of rights to come and that a campaign built largely on hate against people like me had won.
Because I had always expected this result my memories of this night are probably a bit different from those of many of you. What I primarily remember are the reactions of those who, for weeks, had told me how wrong I was to look at the referendum so pessimistically.
Those who had confidently stated that sense always prevails at the ballot box in the UK, and that I had better be ‘less agitated about this thing’. I truly wish ‘this thing’ had not gone the way it did, had not done what it’s done since then. The damage already severe.
But even I could never ever have imagined all that this vote would unleash in the years that followed. Lies and ideology all round to this day, and even now during a global pandemic. The consequences of that worry me greatly.
On a personal level I can’t really measure the impact, but I know it’s profound and not good. Suffice it to say that what is known publicly is the tip of the iceberg. I will forever remain indebted and deeply grateful to my ‘aloha nui family’ for everything—you know who you are.
So why am I still here in the UK? It’s a good question. I get asked it a lot. And I’ve asked myself this question too. Many, many times. I had a few chances to go elsewhere. But in the end the answer was always crystal-clear:
Because I love Scotland. I’ve considered it my home for over two decades since my year there. And I’m simply not prepared to abandon it because England is having a meltdown. So I intend to stay. And I am very happy that, in a few weeks’ time, I’ll be moving home to Scotland.
But things need to change. EU citizens across the whole of the UK deserve better than the shit show that is settled status. So rest assured: I’m in for the long haul. /end
PS: Ugh, I hate autocorrect: that should say aroha ... not aloha. So that’s not a nod to Hawaii, but to New Zealand with a Maori phrase I’ve adopted for some people who have simply been the best of the best. /end