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I don't know who needs to hear this but I'm sorry I offended you is not an apology. It puts the onus on the person who was harmed to find a way to deal with the harm you caused.
It also doesn't matter what your intent was because impact does not equal intent.
It also doesn't matter what your intent was because impact does not equal intent.
Also the people who you have harmed do not owe you forgiveness or a second chance.
So often, forgiveness is for the person who has harmed.
So often, forgiveness is for the person who has harmed.
And in all honesty this is why I hate apologies unless they are changed behavior.
Honestly just do better and show that you've changed and THEN maybe apologize later after there's some weight behind it and after you are no longer the focus.
Have evidence that you are working towards being better for no other reason than it's the right thing to do.
Have evidence that you are working towards being better for no other reason than it's the right thing to do.
And keep doing that work quietly and reflecting on how you can do better so you'll be less likely to cause the same harm again.
Everyone causes harm but you need to be able to sit with that and fix it in a way that does not center yourself. You also need to have the self awareness to know what order of magnitude of harm you are capable of based on societal power structures.
This is truly not that hard. If entire your identity or a major part of it is the default, then that's a lot of emotional and physical violence you can do.
But a lot of y'all basically cannot be bothered to care. It's disgusting.
TLDR, Don't harm people and then blame them for reading you wrong. Don't say you're sorry you'll do better and do nothing.
Just do the damn work quietly and often and do not center yourself.
Just do the damn work quietly and often and do not center yourself.
