I rarely share personal stuff on Twitter, but after seeing this "do bisexual men exist" study, I felt like sharing a few experiences I've had as a bisexual man.
Last year I was talking to a straight woman on a dating app. When I told her I was bisexual, she said she doesn't date bisexual men because they have more STDs.
I've also been told several times from straight women that bisexual men are more likely to cheat. There is zero evidence that shows bisexual men cheat more than straight men.
I've shared some of these stories on my personal Facebook before. I was briefly dating a woman who saw one of these FB posts. She messaged me and said that she was offended because she has friends who don't ever date bisexual men and it's just their preference, not a stigma.
This has been another experience I've had: straight people telling me what is and what is not biphobic. They center their feelings instead of listening to my perspective.
Most of these people who said such ignorant things to me have identified as liberal or progressive too. I worry sometimes that liberals/progressives believe they are above bigotry and fail to reflect on their own biases.
I've also been told that I'm secretly gay and that being bisexual is "just a phase." This is something gay men have told me several times as well.
Gay men have often been skeptical of my sexuality. Which I find depressing because gay men should know what it feels like to have your sexuality doubted by others.
As I bisexual, I constantly feel like I'm not queer enough for queer spaces. But I'm also too queer for straight spaces.
This means I often connect most with other bisexuals because I don't constantly have to explain things to them and correct myths.
So while on some level it's nice that study provides evidence that bisexuals exist, I just wish there was more conversation about correcting the stereotypes and biphobia that bisexuals frequently encounter.
Thanks for reading!
Thanks for reading!
PS: shout-out to some of my #BiInSci friends who make me feel less lonely & more comfortable talking about this stuff! @SusannaLHarris @ShirinZaidi @emmasc0tt @GoAstroMo @IsabelOtt @undocusci @superchiasmatic @SupahNava
Go follow them!
Go follow them!
Another common myth I encounter is when people conflate bisexuality with polyamory. It is very possible for bisexuals to be perfectly happy in monogamous relationships! When I am dating a person who is one gender, I don't feel like I am missing out on dating other genders.