Read on Twitter
When I was in my early 30s I was experience some psychic distress. I had made a lot of progress and was doing much better in my life. My career had stabilized in a good place and I had begun to find a spiritual path for the first time ever. Still, I had a lot of old wounds.
My childhood and my 20s had been difficult and painful and full of psychic traumas. My relationship with my parents had started to deteriorate and some scars from old wounds on my heart had calcified and needed to be worked on with some power tools.
I decided that I was interested in psychedelic assisted therapy, utilizing MDMA and psilocybin (usually separately, but at least once in concert) as chemical power tools to do that hard work in a rapid time frame.
I found an underground therapist who I knew did work of this kind. He also was trained as a psycho-analyst and had a very integral and holistic view of the human psyche (a word he uses instead of mind, because it means mind-soul) that appealed to me.
We spent significant time doing talk therapy and analysis before doing any medicine work. This was necessary in order to build trust and understanding and for him to determine if I was a suitable candidate for psychedelic assisted therapy.
We eventually reached a level of mutual trust that it became clear that we should take the next step and start doing medicine sessions. Over a period of 2 years we met about a dozen times. Most of our work was done with MDMA, some with psilocybin, but as a secondary concern.
MDMA is an exceptional drug. It's currently in phase 3 studies being coordinated through the MAPS organization. They're doing some of the most important work in humane medicine in the world today in my opinion.
Psilocybin is an exceptional drug as well. It's nothing like MDMA and is probably more dangerous (psychically, not physically) and not for everyone. For me it was necessary. I credit psilocybin with facilitating some of the most important psycho-spiritual breakthroughs of my life
I did most of my psilocybin trips solo and then worked with my guide the day after in talk sessions for integration. I did most of my MDMA trips with the guide, with integration immediately following.
This was always intended to be a limited scope treatment plan. I did it for two years and then stopped after achieving ENORMOUS improvement in some key areas, particularly areas related to my sense of self and place in the world.
