Thread by @__IamTipTop, A thread on some philosophers and how they would reply to the [...]

TEMI🌹

__IamTipTop

A thread on some philosophers and how they would reply to the news of a lady being pregnant for them if they were deadbeats.

Lady: David, I think I'm pregnant and it's for you.

David Hume [Skepticism]: There's no necessary cause-effect relationship between the sex we had and the human in your stomach... It's all in your head.

Lady: George, I think I'm pregnant and it's for you.

Bishop George Beckley [Idealism]: Glory to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Holy Mary Mother of Jesus pray for us, keep us from all tribulations. Lady, no limited mind witnessed our conjugation, hence never happened. Be gone.

Lady: Ludwig, I think I'm pregnant and it's for you.

Ludwig Wittgenstein [Solipsism]: I am not even sure of your existence. My mind is still processing things.

Honorary mention.

Lady: Future, I'm pregnant for you.

Future [Father of Modern Misogyny]: Not first, definitely not going to be last... All these bitches do is lie.

Lady: Bertrand, I think I'm pregnant and it's for you.

Bertrand Russell [Atomism]. Your think? All things without atomic components are phantasmal: your thoughts, same as the baby in you.

Lady: Socrates, I think I'm pregnant and it's for u.

I really don't know how that guy would reply but I bet choosing to die in a government prison was he way of dealing with things.

Honorary mention.

Lady: Schrödinger, I think I'm pregnant and it's for you.

Erwin Schrödinger [Physicist/Quantum Mechanics]: We will have to cut that belly open to see if the baby is alive, if it's there at all.

Lady: John, I think I'm pregnant and it's for you.

John Locke [Realism]: *kicks her stomach* You don't need to think again.

Lady: Friedrich, I think I'm pregnant and it's for you.

Friedrich Nietzsche [Existentialism]: There are greater things in life to worry about. Like, if you or that foetus OR both of you will live to see tomorrow.

Thank you for reading. I hope you were entertained