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inchoate thoughts on confidence (plz help refine)
1. it's easy to be so unconfident that you can't say anything at all
this is bad for you, because
a. people who share your unsure feelings don't know to reach out to you
b. people who are more confident don't know how to help
1. it's easy to be so unconfident that you can't say anything at all
this is bad for you, because
a. people who share your unsure feelings don't know to reach out to you
b. people who are more confident don't know how to help
2. it is bad to let your unconfidence make you seem unreliable
many people babble or say nonsense or use lots of jargon when they're unconfident
many people also just lie when they're not confident
this does not inspire trust in the least
many people babble or say nonsense or use lots of jargon when they're unconfident
many people also just lie when they're not confident
this does not inspire trust in the least
3. to be confident requires you to feel okay with your authority to speak on what you're saying
the problem is not that you're uncertain, it's that you feel uncertain when you're talking about being uncertain. just say what you think! https://twitter.com/Virtual1nstinct/status/1277291422421483521?s=20
the problem is not that you're uncertain, it's that you feel uncertain when you're talking about being uncertain. just say what you think! https://twitter.com/Virtual1nstinct/status/1277291422421483521?s=20
4. "but i don't know what i think!"
too bad! just say the various things you think! you don't have to commit to them, just say them and give a hearty "fuck you" to anyone who tries to bully you with them https://twitter.com/thinkagainer/status/1285685860072030208?s=20
too bad! just say the various things you think! you don't have to commit to them, just say them and give a hearty "fuck you" to anyone who tries to bully you with them https://twitter.com/thinkagainer/status/1285685860072030208?s=20
5. unconfidence is neediness, and neediness is scared and scary
when i'm unconfident, i feel a deep anxious need to be something other than i am. i'm unsatisfied with myself on a deep emotional level, and that dissatisfaction cries for attention https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1236193428687314945?s=20
when i'm unconfident, i feel a deep anxious need to be something other than i am. i'm unsatisfied with myself on a deep emotional level, and that dissatisfaction cries for attention https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1236193428687314945?s=20
the unconfidence calls for pity from others, for help from them
the self-judgment and self-dissatisfaction behind it signal to others how judgmental and hard to please you are, and it's scary https://twitter.com/thinkagainer/status/1276696190403444747?s=20
the self-judgment and self-dissatisfaction behind it signal to others how judgmental and hard to please you are, and it's scary https://twitter.com/thinkagainer/status/1276696190403444747?s=20
6. confidence comes from seeing yourself accurately
seeing your weaknesses
being unafraid of your weaknesses
being ready to deal with those weaknesses
seeing your strengths as well
seeing your weaknesses
being unafraid of your weaknesses
being ready to deal with those weaknesses
seeing your strengths as well
7. probably most of these bad ideas about confidence come from school, where there's one exact answer you're supposed to know and should feel ashamed if you don't
IRL, inexact provisional answers are really good and useful and something to be proud of https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1290710152849416193?s=20
IRL, inexact provisional answers are really good and useful and something to be proud of https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1290710152849416193?s=20
8. unconfidence is a sign you haven't come to terms with what you're saying https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1289997033357447169?s=20
this on neediness is good: http://visakanv.com/1000/0767-neediness/
9. it's easier to speak confidently if you remember that most speech only aims to make marginal adjustments to people's prior beliefs, rather than putting down absolute anchors in objective reality
almost any listener knows this too https://twitter.com/thinkagainer/status/1279431746774274049?s=20
almost any listener knows this too https://twitter.com/thinkagainer/status/1279431746774274049?s=20
@visakanv
many of these thoughts about confidence are yours, would love your thoughts on the synthesis if you have any
many of these thoughts about confidence are yours, would love your thoughts on the synthesis if you have any
