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"Sakusa Kiyoomi, you are hereby cursed to live an eternal life for disrupting the work of fate. This selfishness of yours will be your downfall. You will live to see the one who holds your heart love others. He will yearn for you and you will reject him."
"Miya Atsumu was not yours to love," the god says firmly. "And yet you still took him for yourself. This punishment will be carried for 7 lifetimes. Dismissed."
Miya Atsumu was a human. He was a hero of the gods and supposed to wed a woman who was blessed by the priestesses but he caught Sakusa's eye. But Sakusa was his lover first yet the gods did not acknowledge this.
ππ©πͺπ―π¬ π°π§ π΅π©π¦ π£πͺπ¨π¨π¦π³ π±πͺπ€π΅πΆπ³π¦. They are not part of this. They are merely pawns in the gods chessboard that is the world.
Miya Atsumu is reincarnated as a woodcarver. His hands are calloused as he shyly presents Sakusa a beautiful bracelet. Sakusa had to watch Atsumu try to smile as Sakusa turns his affections away. A part of him breaks.
Kita Shinsuke. A kind farmhand who finds Atsumu as he cries behind a tree. Sakusa watches as Kita asks Atsumu to give him his heart instead. Sakusa leaves the town after an announcement about their matrimony is posted in the main square.
Atsumu is reborn as an artist. Sakusa meets him in Paris when he unknowingly commissions him for a portrait. The painting is tinted with Atsumu's affections. It was beautiful before Sakusa tore it when he had to shake his head no at Atsumu's confession.
Kageyama Tobio. A bartender who awkwardly comforts Atsumu as he mopes on the counter. Sakusa watches as Kageyama unknowingly makes Atsumu smile for the first time since he left Sakusa's house. Another part of him breaks.
In the third lifetime, Miya Atsumu and Sakusa Kiyoomi are best friends. Atsumu is the heir of an important family. He begs Sakusa to elope with him when it was announced his marriage was in place. He cries to Sakusa's robes when he was reminded of
his onligation as the son of an important man. Sakusa resists comforting him. It would do them no good.
Yachi Hitoka. A shy young lady stuck in the arranged marriage. She talks about her favorite places until Atsumu stops crying during the marriage meeting. Sakusa listens as Atsumu tells Yachi he might take a chance of loving her despite the areangement.
Sakusa watches from the front row as Atsumu and Yachi exchange vows. He quietly moves to a different ward after giving his blessing to the newlywed.
Sakusa meets Atsumu as a doctor in the next one. This Atsumu flirts with him every chance he gets. It became a bit easier to turn him down when he confesses. He tells Atsumu he does not take love seriously. Atsumu hides away from him after.
Bokuto Koutarou. An energetic police officer who injured himself on a chase after a robber. He made Atsumu laugh himself hoarse during his stay. Sakusa watches Atsumu muffle his squeal after Bokuto leaves with a promise of a date.
Atsumu is a writer in the next life. Sakusa works as his editor. Atsumu claims he hates Sakusa but he turns in his files on time because he knows the company will put the blame on Sakusa instead of him for the late publication.
He confesses by highlighting words on his favorite and gifting it to Sakusa. Sakusa watches Atsumu's eyes lose their spark when he tells him he accidentally loses it. Atsumu mopes for a week before he makes himself write for the sake of Sakusa's job.
Suna Rintarou. The quiet but mischevious owner of a book store Atsumu frequents. He insults Atsumu over his preference of books. They bicker until their conversations become friendly and comforting.
Sakusa watches from the other side of the bookshelf as Atsumu presses a soft kiss to Suna's cheeks when Suna recites his favorite poem when he had a bad day. Sakusa turns in his resignation the next day.
Sakusa does not meet for few next years. He thinks the gods might have pitied him for the heartbreak of the last lifetimes. The years are spent wandering the expanse of the world. He does not appreciate the pity of the gods.
Sakusa travels the world. He meets different people yet none of them catch his eye. Not one of them makes Sakusa feel like Atsumu does.
Atsumu is the honey gold of the afternoon. He's full of genuine laughter in the early hours of the morning back when he was still in Sakusa's grasp. Hardworking and full of spitfire, Atsumu burns brighter than the thousand suns of the gods' castle.
His embrace is warm like the tea he presses to Sakusa's hands during a cold night. The kisses he give Sakusa are sweet like the delicacies of the kings. Atsumu carved Sakusa to be his like he knew it was his right. And Sakusa let him.
Sakusa does not meet Atsumu first. He meets Osamu instead. His love's twin becomes the head chef of the hotel he manages in this lifetime. Technology has advanced enough that phone numbers are given instead of email addresses.
Osamu becomes his close friend. He's invited to Atsumu's celebration dinner for his promotion. Sakusa goes and tells himself it's because he's also Osamu's friend before he served his punishment. When he sees Atsumu again, he accepts his lie.
Atsumu dyed his hair in the color of Sakusa's favorite blanket. He's friendly as he welcomes Sakusa to his home. His gold eyes seem to be colder than the last lifetimes.
Osamu asks Sakusa to hang out more. Atsumu joins them and they go on trips together. This Atsumu is more careful, more mature. On a hike to a mountain, Atsumu confesses hesitantly. Sakusa watches the sunset color Atsumu's tears red and orange as he says no.
He stops being invited by Osamu and Sakusa accepts his excuses in stride. He only hears from a loudmouth in hotel that Atsumu is dating a coworker named Iwaizumi Hajime. Apparently, they became close during their hikes to mountains.
Sakusa's heart clenches as he hears about the confession. Apparently, Atsumu confessed on the same mountain he confessed Sakusa to. Sakusa is a bit glad Iwaizumi managed to cover a painful experience with a good memory.
The last lifetime. Sakusa braces himself for the last one. The gods are not merciful, especially when it comes to people who thwart their plans. Soon enough, a god appears on his doorstep.
"Have you learned your lesson?" The god asks.
"If loving Atsumu was my sin, then by all means, finish the punishment."
The god shakes his head and vanishes. Sakusa watches the clock resume its circular journey. The punishment will continue.
"If loving Atsumu was my sin, then by all means, finish the punishment."
The god shakes his head and vanishes. Sakusa watches the clock resume its circular journey. The punishment will continue.
Sakusa is an athlete in this lifetime. He meets Atsumu again in a volleyball tournament. This Atsumu, he muses, is the closest to the Atsumu who was his lover. The gods are never merciful.
They cross paths briefly over the years. Atsumu grows more and more daring. He calls Sakusa "Omi-kun!" and provokes him with snide remarks. Sakusa misses the asshole so much he's torn between kissing or spiking his face.
Atsumu grins sharply when he joins MSBY. Sakusa has taken to hiding his face with a mask. It's hard to hide himself when Atsumu comes closer and closer to him. The breath in his throat catches as Atsumu smiles at him genuinely for the first time in years.
But eventually, Atsumu falls and Sakusa has to push him over the edge. Atsumu confesses, Sakusa turns him down, names the first spiker that came to his mind, and prepares to leave. Then, Atsumu, quietly, asks,
"Why have you been pushing me away all these years, Sakusa?"
Sakusa feels his heart drop as Atsumu continues. "In this life and the lifetimes before, why do you keep turning me away? Will you ever love me back even if I keep trying or will I fail every time?"
No. No, no, no, no. Sakusa's mind screams as he hears Atsumu weep. It's the same sadness he had when the gods struck down their families as punishment. It's the same anguish when Atsumu said good bye as Sakusa watches the gods steal his last breath.
The gods are never forgiving. He thought it was him alone that bears the pain but they made Atsumu experience the feeling of being unwanted. His Atsumu, his beloved for lifetimes.
"I," Sakusa gasps for air. The world seems to be closing on him. "I l-"
The words scrape against his lungs. No, please. No-
"Atsumu," Sakusa cries. He brings up his hands in an effort of stopping his tears. "Atsumu, Atsumu, Atsumu-"
The words scrape against his lungs. No, please. No-
"Atsumu," Sakusa cries. He brings up his hands in an effort of stopping his tears. "Atsumu, Atsumu, Atsumu-"
"Why, Sakusa?" Atsumu demands. "Why do you keep turning me away?"
"Please, just a bit more," Sakusa begs, "just a bit more, Atsumu. Please, let me be selfish one more time. I beg of you."
"Please, just a bit more," Sakusa begs, "just a bit more, Atsumu. Please, let me be selfish one more time. I beg of you."
"What do you want from me?" Atsumu asks, defeated. Sakusa cries harder.
"Please keep loving me," Sakusa would get on his knees if Atsumu wants, "please let me selfishly take all your affection for this last time. Dream of me, ache for my embrace, just this one more time.
Let the gods tear our hearts one more time so we may be free. Please- "Sakusa's voice breaks "-please, love me once again."
Atsumu wraps his arms around his waist and hides his face on his back. Sakusa can feel his shirt dampen with his tears. Sakusa allows this once, the heartbreak, to finally settle.
He lifts his head up to the sky and lets his tears fall down his face like waterfalls. The waterfalls turn to ocean that drowns them both.
Atsumu learns to love Hinata Shouyou. Sakusa meets Atsumu before the court wedding. Atsumu promises him, "My heart will still wait for you, Sakusa. Please, accept it when I ask again."
Sakusa promises with a tearful hug. Atsumu is not his go kiss.
Sakusa promises with a tearful hug. Atsumu is not his go kiss.
The gods meet him again as a council as he finally crosses into the afterlife. They ask him, "Have you learned after all this years?"
Sakusa raises his head defiantly. "I learned I still love Miya Atsumu after all these lifetimes. I served my punishment, let us free."
The gods titter in disbelief. "Why? Why do you love this man so much?"
The gods titter in disbelief. "Why? Why do you love this man so much?"
"I do not know. No, I do know in my heart and soul I am his and he is mine. My heart beats every day for my life in anticipation of meeting him. Is this not what the fates have designed? For my heart to only recognize its route in the map of the
the fates to pursue Atsumu? My body is carved to fit into his embrace and the cold that takes root in my bones can only be soothed with his warmth.
I will let you tear my heart as many times as you want in your foolish attempt of proving yourself right. I love Miya Atsumu, in this lifetime and the next, in ashes and dust, in my first to my last breath. I will love him."
The gods murmur among themselves and the head god, the god that declared his punishment says, "Very well. You have proven yourself. Then, if I make you a god, will you still choose Miya?"
"My heart has been laid bare."
"My heart has been laid bare."
Sakusa feels his heart loosen as the punishment is lifted. He thanks the gods and when he opens his eyes, he is once again mortal. The world has started anew as Sakusa finally lives.
When Atsumu asks for his love once again, Sakusa returns it with all of his being. The first kiss he shares with Atsumu in lifetimes feels like salvation.
Miya Atsumu loves him anew as Sakusa had loved him over 7 lifetimes.
Miya Atsumu loves him anew as Sakusa had loved him over 7 lifetimes.
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