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The army arriving at Pontins has sent me off down a Holiday On The Buses rabbit hole
Though "Holiday" of course was set at Prestatyn, not Southport. But look at its splendour
Significantly, 1973 saw TWO holiday camp based films for Reg Varney. Five points if you know the other, which we'll come to soon; but this one has so much to enjoy visually. The brightly painted military billet chalets
Bemused holidaymakers look on as Blakey and Butler shout dialogue at each other like they're trying to reach the upper circle
The saucy Carry Ons were about to segue into the sleazy Confessions films. Sid James handed the baton to Robin Askwith,m. "Holiday" sits the perineum between both
It's surprisingly, well, bawdy. At that uncomfortable zone between "cheeky" and "Jesus Christ that's grim". Ah but it was a different time.
There's a horrendous sequence where Reg Varney (Stan) goes on a boat trip with a "bird" but can't get his end away due to throwing up, so Bob Grant (Jack) steps in, all wire wool hair and tombstone teeth
Jack and Stan were meant to be ladies' men but you can't help wondering what the women in question had done to deserve this bleak calibre of bus driver in their lives
Then there was Olive and Arthur, part of the classic "frigid husband won't even give his desperate wife a good seeing to" trope, cf George and Mildred Roper
To emphasise the misogyny dripping through the whole endeavour, Anna Karen was made to put on 3 stone to become frumpy Olive. In her earlier years she was an exotic dancer
She revisited Pontins in Prestatyn a few years back. Lovely photo this.
Come to sunny Prestatyn laughed the girl on the poster
Look though: my Holiday On The Buses stuff was just a ruse to get you interested in the other, brilliant, Reg Varney holiday camp film released that year, The Best Pair Of Legs In The Business
The poster does NOT tell you what sort of film it is. Bleak, gritty and depressing, it's a Greek tragedy set in a windswept holiday resort
Not quite the October blast of "Carry On Camping", whose actors nearly froze to death on set; this film's autumnal theme is the dying embers of a holiday camp entertainer's career. And Varney is a bloody knockout.
If you haven't seen it, and I'm telling you to see it, you will be stunned by the multi layered performance from Varney as he makes you sympathise with and despise his character, Sherry
This is an extraordinary turn from someone who ordinarily dialled it in and shouted it out in a bus garage. Remarkable stuff. Like Norman Wisdom, but with actual pathos. You watch his whole pathetic world fall to pieces.
As well as that, the film takes a swipe at the dismal 1970s attitudes of blokes looking to pull birds, in contrast to On The Buses. But they represent the youthful sexual energy that is fading with Sherry, as he becomes the Virgin Queen, a cuckolded drag artist
It's not a fun watch. Parts of it are excruciating. None of the characters are particularly likeable. Sherry tries so hard to ingratiate himself but, as ever, he is low born and his status does not impress his daughter's new family
In the end, when the classic Greek tragedy denouement plays out in the camp swimming pool, you end up hoping he'll drown rather than be rescued
Seriously, watch it. A hidden gem. Much too grim to be popular, it's a lovely little film. Incredible that Varney could do it and Holiday On The Buses in the same year. But he did.
