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I feel like it's possible to date and love and have sex with people who are ostensibly the "opposite" sex and still not be A Heterosexual. I wish people thought more of Heterosexuality as a coercive institution and societal force and not as a personal choice or orientation.
Like, I'm a bisexual nonbinary person dating a bisexual man. Our relationship might appear het to other people but neither of us is straight and we don't operate the way straight people operate.
Heterosexuality the institution is about the absolute subjugation of women and the physical and psychological destruction of men and the strict enforcement of the line between the two.
I feel like it's possible for two people to love and mutually respect each other as emotional and intellectual peers, no matter their assigned genders. And thereby to reject heterosexuality personally. Shouldn't we want that?
Like I've seen so many het relationships where they both enforce gender standards of behavior on each other, where mothers reinforce gender on their sons and fathers on their daughters, where ppls actual health suffers bc of their devout conformity to heterosexuality.
And if we are truly going to embrace transness and the fluidity and constructed nature of gender, I think we have to let go of heterosexuality as being anything other than a construct as well. Absolute liberation means casting off that coercion together.
