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ALERT 
The election is over, and Biden won.
For many MAGAs, this means life as they know it has ended, and the terrible realities of things like “truth”, “decency” and “reducing systemic racism” will begin to bite.
Many are hurting! Many have sads!
Only YOU can help
The election is over, and Biden won.
For many MAGAs, this means life as they know it has ended, and the terrible realities of things like “truth”, “decency” and “reducing systemic racism” will begin to bite.
Many are hurting! Many have sads!
Only YOU can help
For a dollar a day, you can sponsor a sad MAGA.
For that small amount, you can help make them shut up forever, and gradually learn to accept the election results.
You can empower a MAGA to consider that white supremacy might be bad!
And that the angry orange man might be too!
For that small amount, you can help make them shut up forever, and gradually learn to accept the election results.
You can empower a MAGA to consider that white supremacy might be bad!
And that the angry orange man might be too!
Over the next few months, many MAGAs will return to their families for the first time in years.
Even great uncle Jed down in Mobile is WAITING FOR YOUR CALL.
(And would like to Zoom you on Thanksgiving, but we can just pretend the internet’s not working
)
Even great uncle Jed down in Mobile is WAITING FOR YOUR CALL.
(And would like to Zoom you on Thanksgiving, but we can just pretend the internet’s not working
)
How will your funds be used?
Well.
MAGAs are not very good at science, math, or reading. Your sponsorship will mean they have the chance to actually understand why the angry orange man lost.
And how things like covid and Obama’s Hawaiian birth certificate are real.
Well.
MAGAs are not very good at science, math, or reading. Your sponsorship will mean they have the chance to actually understand why the angry orange man lost.
And how things like covid and Obama’s Hawaiian birth certificate are real.
Many MAGAs are unwell with a previously-considered-incurable brain illness known as “QAnon”.
Your sponsorship will help to ensure these people begin to understand that Hillary Clinton does not drink the blood of small children, and that JFK Jr. really is dead after all.
Your sponsorship will help to ensure these people begin to understand that Hillary Clinton does not drink the blood of small children, and that JFK Jr. really is dead after all.
MAGAs are an endangered species; it is believed fewer than 12,000 existed in D.C. at their most recent mating event.
While often perceived as loud, angry and violent, MAGAs are actually very fearful creatures who only crave stability, donuts and more white people.
While often perceived as loud, angry and violent, MAGAs are actually very fearful creatures who only crave stability, donuts and more white people.
In their natural environment, MAGAs will fail. They will return to their usual routines of brewing hooch and refusing to wear masks at Walmart.
This is where YOU can help.
Teaching these people to read and think may be the greatest gift you can bestow on another American.
This is where YOU can help.
Teaching these people to read and think may be the greatest gift you can bestow on another American.
PHONE TODAY:
1800-SAD-MAGA
Vulnerable hillbillies are counting on YOU.
(Well, they will be once we teach them to count.)
You CAN make a difference.
1800-SAD-MAGA Vulnerable hillbillies are counting on YOU.
(Well, they will be once we teach them to count.)
You CAN make a difference.
DISCLAIMER: Most of your money will be used to pay for Donald’s campaign debt. Okay, all of it will be. Even we know these people are beyond help. But we tried, okay? WE TRIED. Make American Read Again! Etc. Bye.
© Angry Orange Man Media 2020
© Angry Orange Man Media 2020
