""23 things I didn't learn in college / grad school"
#2: Listen
#2: Listen
The biggest reason to listen well is that it is possibly the most important step in building trust. Honing your listening skills makes you a good communicator, a good colleague, a good leader, a good friend.
Like presence (#1), listening can be practiced. It is a special case of being present, and is a great concrete way to practice being present.
Whether it's a student or a junior colleague asking for help; a friend disclosing their distress or pain; a colleague describing a technical idea; good listening demands that we learn to see it from their perspective, as THEY describe it.
In technical matters, it's often useful to restate what you heard, but in most other situations, it's just enough to acknowledge it.
When listening, avoid the temptation: to finish the other person's sentences; to live-compose your response in your head; to indulge in problem-solving; to judge; to get distracted.
Rephrasing and fixing can all come later.
First, listen.
Rephrasing and fixing can all come later.
First, listen.