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Bad Transportation Takes, a thread
Car idling is bad for the environment! Cities should widen roads and optimize signals for motorized vehicles to flow as quickly as possible, thereby reducing exhaust from idling!
Exercise is good! Stop building new flat and efficient bike routes. Bike routes should be as hilly and indirect as possible, so that bicyclists get more physical activity!
More transit passenger-miles is good! Transit routes should be circuitous so that passengers ride a them for a longer distance to get to their destinations, thereby increasing transit passenger-miles!
More transit boardings are good! The transit network should be designed so that most passengers have to transfer at least twice to get to their destinations, thereby increasing boardings!
Conflicts between pedestrians and cars are bad! Pedestrian infrastructure should be removed so that cars are kept away from people walking.
It’s bad when car occupants get hurt! Cars should be built as big and bulky as possible to protect their occupants from injury and death.
Keeping the economy moving is good! Our transportation system should require individuals to invest tens of thousands of dollars (on costs associated with their vehicles) in order to participate. Think of all the jobs it will support!
Carpooling is good! Everyone should buy a car that can seat at least 7 in order to allow for carpooling.
Recycling is good! We should encourage car consumption as opposed to walking or biking because a single car at the end of its life can produce more recyclable materials than a bicycle or a pair of shoes.
Breathing in air pollutants is bad. Cars are good because they let you quickly escape dense areas with lots of car-related air pollution.
