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An excellent Australian report from 2010. How terrifying that in the UK and many other countries we are rapidly losing ground to the pervasive misogynistic myths the report highlights, which prevent mothers from protecting themselves and their children.
https://ses.library.usyd.edu.au/bitstream/handle/2123/6255/No%20way%20to%20live%20final%20report.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y
https://ses.library.usyd.edu.au/bitstream/handle/2123/6255/No%20way%20to%20live%20final%20report.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y
Lesley Laing is an Associate Professor at the University of Sydney School of Education and Social Work.
“A mega analysis of many studies found that exposure to domestic violence was associated with similar levels of harm to those experienced by children who experience direct physical child abuse.”
Men who abuse women are abusive fathers. Full stop.
Men who abuse women are abusive fathers. Full stop.
“Children may be subject to increased exposure to domestic violence after separation, as this may be the only context in which the violent partner has access to his victim. It is of crucial importance that the family law system identifies and responds appropriately.”
“Anything that you do to try and advocate for your children is somehow twisted into being high conflict and parental alienation. So you are basically silenced. And the children are silenced.”
“Women were acutely aware that they had to temper their efforts to protect their children with considerations that they may be perceived as motivated by the desire to undermine the father-child relationship.”
“Women reported that they received the strong message not to raise allegations of abuse or violence in the Family Courts. They reported managing a very delicate balancing act as they made choices about whether, and how much, to raise issues of violence and abuse.”
“They lived with the fear that they could be punished by losing the care of their children if they were seen to be challenging the inevitability of an ongoing relationship between ex-partners and children."
“This placed them in a difficult position in attempting to ensure their children’s safety from continued abuse and exposure to domestic violence, because they feared that failure to ‘prove’ allegations could lead to the children being in greater danger of abuse.”
“The women received strong messages from various sources that it was dangerous to allege violence and abuse and they walked a tight rope in trying to protect their children without being seen as ‘unfriendly’ parents or undermining the father-child relationship.”
“The women faced damaged relationships with their children as a result of the abuse. In addition to coping with the children’s distress at spending time with their fathers, they were the ones who had to force their children to do this.”
“The women’s ex-partners were rarely held accountable, either for their violence and abuse, or for accepting their responsibilities as parents. This seemed to contrast with the scrutiny that the women experienced as mothers.”
“In attempting to keep their children safe, women found that their motives were under question and they very commonly encountered assumptions that they were motivated by bitterness towards ex-partners rather than by a desire to protect their children.”
“Scepticism about women’s allegations of violence and abuse, poor or non-existent risk assessment and an emphasis on fathering regardless of its quality marked the failures to intervene of many agencies whose mandate is to protect women and children from violence and abuse.”
