1/The idea that the a great marriage has to also include the realm of sexual peak experience or the person isn’t “the one” is the source of a lot of heartbreak.
Sexuality is a savage force, it’s obsessive, reckless, blind and inextricably tied to a voiceless brutality of nature
Sexuality is a savage force, it’s obsessive, reckless, blind and inextricably tied to a voiceless brutality of nature
2/The Apollonian order of marriage is an attempt at relief from the mind-numbing Dionysian abyss of sexuality.
The idea that a marriage not only can, but needs to maximize sexual fulfillment for both parties is very new and contains a contradiction.
The idea that a marriage not only can, but needs to maximize sexual fulfillment for both parties is very new and contains a contradiction.
3/It’s a collision of order and chaos, with the expectation that it’s easy to balance, and if it isn’t, well, it wasn’t meant to be.
But chaos constrained isn’t chaos at all. It’s role-play. It’s 50 Shades of Grey, it’s slaps and chokes and artificial add-ons.
But chaos constrained isn’t chaos at all. It’s role-play. It’s 50 Shades of Grey, it’s slaps and chokes and artificial add-ons.
4/The predator/prey relationship that is so *obviously* at the core of much of female arousal is disrupted by the simple fact that your partner, if he’s a good one, is hardly a very convincing predator.
5/This is a hard
to 
Whatever path you choose, being human means accepting these contradictions, seeing the tradeoffs, playing out the scenarios and knowing: there is no heaven to get to, just making your own blend of peace in the permanent war of nature.


Whatever path you choose, being human means accepting these contradictions, seeing the tradeoffs, playing out the scenarios and knowing: there is no heaven to get to, just making your own blend of peace in the permanent war of nature.