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TDSB use of gender neutral pronouns in the most recent progress reports may be a well intentioned attempt to consider individuals preferences regarding pronouns, but it is a mistake to assume that the use of one pronoun applied to all children is appropriate: it misgenders them.
If the goal is to be sensitive about gender, it would be great to ask how each student wants to be addressed. That could be part of the start of year forms. Children expect to be addressed by their preferred pronouns.
If keeping track of preferred pronouns is complicated, using the childâs preferred name instead of they/them/theirs pronouns would be a good alternative.
In a response to a Scientific American essay suggesting blanket use gender neutral pronouns, Alex Hanna, Nikki L Stevens, Os Keyes and Maliha Ahmed say: âTaking away gendered pronouns is premised on the idea that simplification will lead to a flattening of gender disparity (...)
âbut this work must consider the real-world conditions of the people who are the subject of multiple intersecting oppressionsâof sexism, racism, transmisogyny and povertyâand begin with their concerns, rather than moving away from nuance of their lived experience.â
âMisgenderingâthat is, addressing someone by the incorrect pronoun or honorificâis a form of microaggression. The act of misgendering denies the gendered and human legitimacy of trans people, and causes significant negative psychological effects (...)â. https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/voices/actually-we-should-not-all-use-they-them-pronouns/
âFundamentally, a move toward gender-neutral pronouns ignores the important work that gendered pronouns perform in everyday life. For many trans/GNC people, gender is an important part of their identity (...)
...and actively avoiding the act of gendering manifests as another form of violenceâa violence that trans/GNC people have been fighting against throughout the long history of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual and two-spirit (LGBTQIA2S) experience.â
Our identical twin boys, who are in the same class and still working on being seen as individuals and not âthe twins/theyâ found the use of âtheyâ very confusing. For instance, it seemed the progress report cards were not about both of them.
My daughter was confused about why she was being called âtheyâ as this is not how she identifies. I am certainly there are many children and teens going through gender transition who also did not appreciate the generalization.
Maybe asking what the preferences are would have been much more inclusive. Sometimes a poorly thought generalization causes more harm than intended. Pronouns are important, that is why we declare them. Children deserve the same courtesy.
