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Traditional gender roles that go a little something like, “A woman’s job is to cook, clean and take care of the house and kids while the man makes the money” is crippling families everywhere.
The social conditioning that keeps the cycle of raising daughters who know how to change diapers, care for baby dolls, be the first (and only) ones to learn how to cook, while teaching sons to be “strong” workers who provide only, is so damaging.
This conditioning is very prominent in the church as well, and is supported by stretching Scripture to lengths the writers do not, to prescribe women and men to only doing things that fit cultural norms.
I see it all the time and almost fell into it early on in my marriage. Thinking that I *had to* do all of the cooking, cleaning, “taking care of home”, and stuff simply because I’m a woman. Like whut?
I’ve seen married women/mothers who are married either function as a second mom to their husbands or raise kids as if they are single moms who don’t have much, if any help from the father. It’s not supposed to be this way for any one.
I was raised by a single mom and watched her struggle to sleep, to work, to care for 3 girls, to overextend herself.
The last place any woman should experience the weight of doing it alone aside from this spot, is when there are two, married folks involved.
The last place any woman should experience the weight of doing it alone aside from this spot, is when there are two, married folks involved.
When God tasked BOTH Adam and Eve to be fruitful + multiply and to work the land, that was an equal assignment. There should be no reason why straight out of the gate, the expectations are that this means that women do more and men do less in the home and outside of it.
Do different situations and circumstances call for different measures? Sure.
But using a theological idea to frame the application of “traditional gender roles” in a marriage? Naw.
But using a theological idea to frame the application of “traditional gender roles” in a marriage? Naw.
I’m all for people doing what works for their families.
But let’s not get it twisted.
“Doing what works for you” can often be used to hide toxic, misogynistic, unrealistic, theologically lazy and unfair expectations, that are placed on either spouse.
But let’s not get it twisted.
“Doing what works for you” can often be used to hide toxic, misogynistic, unrealistic, theologically lazy and unfair expectations, that are placed on either spouse.
Wo(men) who are married are not responsible for raising another grown adult.
Cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and the like are not tasks that get passed on from his mother to his wife. All parties should know how to do basic things to function as people. Period.
Cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and the like are not tasks that get passed on from his mother to his wife. All parties should know how to do basic things to function as people. Period.
Also, for a slice of nuance pie, I understand that everyone does not grow up with present and emotionally available parent(s). There are many folks who don’t know how to do basics because they were never taught for various reasons. This thread, doesn’t apply to you.
But for the rest of us, all of either side of responsibilities shouldn’t fall on either spouse.
Both spouses deserve to thrive, feel supported, give their best and work together to make the load lighter. It’s a team effort.
Both spouses deserve to thrive, feel supported, give their best and work together to make the load lighter. It’s a team effort.
When one is carrying the whole team on their back, it shows. When messaging is underscoring an unrealistic application to, “women in the kitchen, men in the field,” it shows.
It should NOT be this way.
It should NOT be this way.
For my single sisters out there who want to get married one day, please hear me out.
*achem*
You DO NOT get married to be a mom to someone else’s son. Matter of fact, the fact that I have to say a mom, goes back to the original point. We don’t even say dad. We say mom
*achem*
You DO NOT get married to be a mom to someone else’s son. Matter of fact, the fact that I have to say a mom, goes back to the original point. We don’t even say dad. We say mom
You can marry a competent and capable young man, who doesn’t look at women as maids and servants, but a beautiful, image-bearer, whose primary existence doesn’t revolve around his wants/needs.
Anything less than that, isn’t normal. Let’s normalize this.
Anything less than that, isn’t normal. Let’s normalize this.
I was diagnosed with a chronic illness last year and fibroids this year.
There are days that I can’t eat unless my husband cooks, won’t have clothes to wear unless he washes them, things that won’t be cleaned, unless he does it.
There are days that I can’t eat unless my husband cooks, won’t have clothes to wear unless he washes them, things that won’t be cleaned, unless he does it.
When we raise both sexes well, we can work interdependently in a way that is healthy, loving and honest. We can offer strength and support to our marriages and families. We can create a cycle that normalizes equality in the home for generations to come. This is possible.
Oh and if you don’t want to be a (for the folks in the back there is nothing wrong with these titles, just making a contextualized point here) SAHW, SAHM, homemaker, etc., you don’t have to just because you’re a woman. God can use you in ALL of your responsibilities, equally.
