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One thing I have really struggled with in the past couple of years is the impermanence of relationships—parents will die, spouses can move on, friends depart on different paths, even kids can take off never to return.
At first this drove me nuts. But then something changed...
At first this drove me nuts. But then something changed...
I realized that ALL relationships are inpermanent—even negative ones. You won't have to work with your most troublesome colleagues forever anymore than you can choose to stay by your favorites' sides for the rest of your life.
Eventually, you will all go your separate ways
Eventually, you will all go your separate ways
Realizing that everyone parts ways made me a lot more patient: "Ugh, this person I have to deal with/in my family/on the train is so hard to get on with. Oh well, it'll change soon enough. I can wait a little longer."
And THAT made me a little curious...
And THAT made me a little curious...
Realizing I cannot be stuck with anyone, including difficult people, for all eternity, I caught myself thinking, "I wonder how we can get on while our paths are crossed?" And as I investigated, I started to ask, "Why are they like this?"
Now I have this weird sort of Zero Fucks Empathy where my knowledge that eventually everyone around me is going to go away let's me feel compassion for those I butt heads with and acceptance that I can care deeply for those I connect with and still let them go
Dating hase become an advent calendar of understanding for me rather than a series of disappointments. I'm not looking for a perfect person who will stay forever. I'm just trying to understand the person in front of me.
Tricky colleagues don't scare me into quitting or hiding anymore because I know both our careers are in motion and if I wait a little, one of us will be long gone. So why not make the best of it? Maybe teach each other some things in the process?
In the end everything changes. Nothing stays the same. And this is TERRIFYING when you want something consistent to hold in your hand.
But life is more like a contra dance: you hold many hands and dance with many partners. And if you're laughing, you're doing it right :)
But life is more like a contra dance: you hold many hands and dance with many partners. And if you're laughing, you're doing it right :)
