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Alright, it's time to talk about shame. I've been wanting to write this thread for a while. You might have heard me say that I never use shame to motivate people, and that is for several reasons. Shame is the most insidious weapon used against us as individuals.
I've spent my entire life plagued by shame. I grew up Christian in a bigoted church, which only enforced my feelings of existing wrong. My church was really focused on Jesus, "love the sinner, hate the sin." They would tell us that God loved us DESPITE how sinful we were.
This was all masqueraded as love. The meritocracy enforces this, constant streams of advertising saying we are not enough. Our society is founded on shame, forcing us to focus only on ourselves and how to finally feel "enough." We ignore other's suffering to escape this feeling.
This should be enough to refuse the cycle. But here's the other thing: it doesn't WORK! It is a temporary motivator. Shame requires constant enforcement, which is why it is so infectious throughout our lives. I don't shame anybody who is showing up in earnest.
Shame is immobilizing. It's a horrible feeling that will make you do anything to avoid it, & if there's no clear action to resolve it, you ignore it and shut it out- even if it means dehumanizing. It's why people avert their eyes and pretend not to see panhandlers on the street.
Rather than focusing on the shame, present the alternative. Show the pathway out of where they are. So most of the city has been passive to our oppression - what do you want people to do about it? Give people an opportunity to make it right. It's not right, but it's what works.
Remember that accepting one precedent of leftism usually means questioning EVERYTHING someone has taken as fact their whole lives. What seems like one simple sticking point is often one of the few pillars supporting their entire worldview. This means presenting baby steps.
If you are angry that people's loved ones voted for Wheeler, encourage them to start difficult conversations w/ people in their lives. If you are so tired of people showing up for the easy part, catch them on the way out and tell them what it would mean for them to stay.
It takes a lot to not be bitter when so many of us are killing ourselves trying to pull anything together and we know if more people committed themselves to justice, nothing could stop us. But hold onto that good faith. We are strong because we try to build the better world.
