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If you ever wonder why someone didn’t attempt to resolve a conflict with you, consider the fact most of us weren’t taught how to do so, nor were we taught to embrace the vulnerability that comes with it.
Most of us do one of 2 things: Abandon the connection or avoid the issue. Telling someone how they’ve harmed you takes work and allows the other person to see you hurting. That can be scary.
Trust also comes into play, how can you trust you’ll be understood or that they won’t do it again? You can’t. There are no guarantees.
So instead of asking yourself why you weren’t worth the risk, remind yourself that some people don’t know how to take risks. Even if they do, most people would rather skydive than sit face to face with you and hash things out
Be thankful for those willing to take the risk with you, especially on issues that aren’t one and done. Those that require rebuilding from the ground up. Be patient and allow grace. Good things take time.
Also keep in mind that most people would rather forgive someone who hurts them repeatedly rather than someone who never has or seldom does. We grow used to people do so more often. We forgive based on history and hope they’ll change. We’re programmed to accept toxicity
We put those who are good natured and well meaning on pedestals. We say they would never. Would implies intent. Even if they “would never” doesn’t necessarily mean they could never. People are human.
Allow unintended harm the same, if not more forgiveness that you give the toxic patterns you’ve been dealing with for years on end. Reprogram your mind.
