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The way Nana depicts romantic relationships is amazing. The series perfectly captures all the subtleties of a relationship and shows us how, despite all the love two people can have for each other, they can still do terrible things to each other. (Thread)
Nana and Shoji's sweet and wholesome romance veneers a relationship that was doomed from the very beginning. On the surface, they seem like a couple with "normal" struggles. They don't have nearly enough time to spend with each other, both have their own financial problems, etc
They're not outwardly toxic, horrible, or abusive to each other. It doesn't seem like they have huge issues but that's exactly what makes their relationship so interesting to me. They both have certain behaviors and mannerisms that indirectly hurt their partner.
Shoji is constantly looking down on Nana. He believes he knows better than her and knows what's best for her. Rather than treating her like an equal partner he treats her like a child who "needs to learn how to be independent". This is already a toxic and dangerous mindset
In the first episode, we get a glimpse at the disconnect between the two. Nana essentially uprooted her entire life to move to Tokyo and be with Shoji and he can't even appreciate the things she did for him. The best part is how this show portrays this as something "not serious"
Nana is already a clingy person who, as described by the other nana, finds a person she likes and attaches herself to them. She's very reliant on Shoji for her emotional needs. She needs him to quell her insecurities, her lack of appreciation, her lack of love
Shoji is just barely doing this but Nana doesn't know any better because of her unfortunate past with relationships. She's been rejected throughout her life and the only man who accepted her was a man who was only using her for sex. At this point, she's willing to settle
Even more interesting is how Nana is hurting Shoji. I don't think Nana actually loves Shoji as a person but, rather, loves the idea of having a boyfriend. She says her childhood dream is to become a bride. She just wants to be loved, doesn't matter who
This is kinda complicated to explain but the show manages to portray it in a scarily realistic way. Literally every interaction we see on-screen between Nana and Shoji is a superficial or shallow conversation. Their most intimate moments are when they're sleeping with each other
In fact, Nana's relationship with the other Nana (Osaki) shows a side of Nana we don't see often. A side that manages appreciate the beautiful parts of life, a side that is hopeful and optimistic despite a brooding future. Shoji isn't able to bring this out of Nana
We constantly see Shoji hurt by Nana's inconsiderate nature. Nana chooses to prioritize her roommate over her boyfriend, chooses to spend time with her roommate despite her limited time with Shoji, and genuinely forgets about Shoji often
It's not that Nana and Shoji don't love each other. It's a lot more complex. They DO love each other but they aren't getting their emotional needs satisfied by each other. And it's because of who they are and how they interact with each other that indirectly hurts the other
Nana isn't trying to be mean to Shoji and Shoji isn't trying to be mean to Nana. They, as people, just don't mesh well together and bring out each other's toxic traits which leads to a lot of hurt and a mess of a relationship
There is clearly a lot of love in the relationship. But the basis of a relationship isn't love but respect. Two people cannot coexist without respect for one another no matter how much love there is
This blatant lack of respect and consideration for each other's feelings leads to Shoji feeling absolutely exhausted and compelled to cheat on Nana which finally leads to their break up.
Honestly, Shoji cheating on Nana deserves its own thread because of how complicated his dynamic with both Nana and Sachiko is and I'd love to touch on it.
It's amazing how well this show portrayed the withering of a seemingly sweet couple. It's scary because it happens in real life and it's something I experienced myself too. Not big fights, not big arguments, but slow subtle small things that make you resent your partner
I'm only 15 episodes into Nana and constantly astounded by the amount of depth, realism, and heart this series has. I love it and am so excited to keep watching.
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