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My friends are allowed to friend different from how I friend. I can choose/unchoose others, center myself, prioritize my wellbeing & they are allowed to do so too. The world doesn't revolve around me.
That's what I tell myself when I get in my feelings about my friends' choices
That's what I tell myself when I get in my feelings about my friends' choices
Friendships are awesome, until the inevitable event where one person makes a choice that makes no sense to the other person. Open & honest communication makes things easier, but it's hard because we get in our feelings. And each person is right from their own POV, so we get stuck
I like the idea of friendship as freedom. Which can sometimes conflict with my strong belief in reciprocity. There's a sweet spot I've found sha & it helps that I don't tight the world to my chest because ELKAFT. If it matters, I'll conversate. If not I'll free it. Life is short.
I think what makes it hard is that friendship often requires sacrificing comfort/centering the other person at your own expense & it's only normal to expect reciprocity. So there's an unspoken debt to be repaid & it's not even about being transactional it's naturally occurring.
So if I'm there for you when you're going through a though time, I would naturally expect that you'd be there for me too. So now I'm all set up for disappointment because soon enough, you're going to let me down. First, you're human. Also, you didn't send me message.
I don't know what the best answer is & it's different for everyone. I just know I'm personally responsible for myself, I prioritize my mental & emotional wellbeing over what others should've/would've/could've done. I'm not allowing anybody live rent free in my head. Life is short
