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Some years back, early on in my tech career, I got invited to a dinner with a group of black female devs, many of whom I looked up. 
They chose this really expensive Korean BBQ place that, frankly, I couldn't afford. I remember being very nervous when I got there and saw the prices. But I found something on the very last page at the very, very bottom: an $8 side rice dish. I was saved.
I ate my little bowl of rice and watched everyone else devour incredibly delicious looking meat. I didn't mind so much. I was there for the company, not the food. Then the bill came.
I knew what would be expected. We would all split the bill, which would be $80+ per person. I couldn't afford that. So I went up to the woman who was at the head of table and pointed to my little $8 rice dish on the check.
I asked her to put $12 on my card and ran to the bathroom before this became a discussion. But before I turned, I saw the look on her face. This was a woman I very much looked up to and her face was full of pure disgust and disdain. I've never felt so small.
I ran off and made sure not to return until the bill was settled and no one could question or guilt me into paying for more than my share.
I'm sure I'm not the only person who's dreaded the bill at a group dinner, especially since I'm usually the one that's more price sensitive and usually don't drink. But the fact that we've normalized subsidizing other people's often extravagant meals has always been frustrating.
Especially when people very *clearly* take advantage of it. Nowadays, it's more of an annoyance that this custom is so common. But back then, it was a source of financial stress and societal pressure that I really didn't and shouldn't have had to deal with.
I totally get that splitting the check when people generally order the same thing is really convenient, but if you notice someone eating/ordering significantly less than everyone else, I hope you think twice before you so casually suggest that everyone split the bill.
