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A 'creative' guide to homeschooling, as requested by @EmuHp
INTRO: They Will Not Treat You Like There Teacher.
Because you are not. And thats ok so keep you expectations in check. You'll need biscuits. Biscuits to bribe, motivate and bury your soul in.
INTRO: They Will Not Treat You Like There Teacher.
Because you are not. And thats ok so keep you expectations in check. You'll need biscuits. Biscuits to bribe, motivate and bury your soul in.
1) go for a walk in the morning. You could walk to the shop and get biscuits. You should have biscuits with you.
2) collect stuff on your walk. It passes the time. Gives you somethimg to talk about.
2) collect stuff on your walk. It passes the time. Gives you somethimg to talk about.
3) back home. Place biscuits on table with children's work. Tell them for every completed worksheet they get a biscuit. Watch then eat the biscuits in three mouthfuls.
4) oh no, the school want you teach time. Get more biscuits. Don't be afraid. Your inly stupid mummy, you are not as clever as Miss Teacher who smells of freshly baked biscuits. You smell like stale coffee. I digress. Time to assume the character your child as cast you in.
5) let's play 'ask google'. Spend 30 minutes asking google questions. Realise that your beloved child is now asking 'who has the hariest bottom in the world?' Interupt google.
6) open another oack of biscuits. Its 10.30 am. Too early for lunch.
6) open another oack of biscuits. Its 10.30 am. Too early for lunch.
7) next worksheet is a comprehension
Its quite dull. Your child is bored. ROLE PLAY. Its actually a gameshow. Create a theme tune and ask those questions like you are Bruce Forsyth or Ru Paul, whatever suits you better. The prize is: you guessed it...biscuits!
Its quite dull. Your child is bored. ROLE PLAY. Its actually a gameshow. Create a theme tune and ask those questions like you are Bruce Forsyth or Ru Paul, whatever suits you better. The prize is: you guessed it...biscuits!
8) Realise you should have never used the glitter, which is now covering the only laptop in your home that Microsoft Teams works on.
9) LIFESKILLS LUNCHTIME. Do not go on instragram and look up fun lunches for kids. Put all ingredients in front of child. Ask them to build the best sandwich. Or build one for each other. The prize is...biscuits.
10) send child outside in the freezing cold with a ball. They will soon realise that learning with mum is waaaay better then being stood in the cold. They will be begging to warm their hands with the history lesson on the great fire of London that is lined up for them.
11) give child a biscuit and realise that they have confused the great fire of London and Guy fawkes. You know that they are at different ends of the 17th century but thats about it. Eat a biscuit and watch bbc horrible histories about it.
12) 3 o'clock you did it. 1 whole day of school. Completed. You child doesn't think it, but you are a HERO. As are all those teachers. As is everyone who is doing their best (Not you Boris). Eat a biscuit, pour yourself a drink, put the trashiest piece of kids tv on you can find.
13) Write to your MP/ Hatt Mancock/ Wav Gilliamson (if you can find him) asking for teachers to ve vaccinated. Eat a biscuit.
14) Stare into Space.
14) Stare into Space.
