Read on Twitter
Two quite different points in @doc_becca's thread, one of which I feel is a particularly sensitive area, one with actual controversy and fuzzy boundaries. Start with her dead-on statement: "It is ok to be excited about your successes, even if it makes people sad." 1/ https://twitter.com/doc_becca/status/1347981324615901186
For those who don't do threads, here is one punchline. It's always possible for someone to be hurt/enraged/shocked by your success. That's on them, not you. Share away. This is Twitter, a planet-wide communication system, not your f-ing dinner table. 2/
While I admire all the angels out there who say they celebrate everyone's successes, it ain't so for many of us. We all have people whose work we find...troublesome. These people still succeed and tell the world. It is perfectly human to seethe. 3/
Maybe it's hard to hear: you are probably that troublesome person for someone else, fairly or not. They may rage at your success. And that's normal. If you think everyone loves you, let's have a little sidebar about humans. 4/
It gets worse. Those folks may seethe at you because they think you didn't earn your success, but were merely handed it by luck, a fancy advisor, an unfair system, or other factors beyond your control. 5/
And maybe you were, no matter what you think. And also, maybe they're wrong, ignorant of all the BS you fought through for years to be able to rip your victory from the bloodied jaws of a system that's given you nothing without a fight. What do they know? 6/
The point is: it's okay to succeed, and to tell others about your success, even if it makes some folks sad/angry/self-righteous/choose-your-dismay. 7/
Of course, you might not stand up at dinner and announce your grant got funded if you knew that, across the table, your colleague had received a rejection that meant they'd have to fire their group. (This is what Dr Manners may have had in mind.) That would be insensitive. 8/
Guess what: your "dinner table" on Twitter contains everyone on Twitter (who you haven't blocked, thereby sending them to the kid's table, where they subsequently slander you to their Minecraft team). 9/
Social media requires a rather more stiff-upper-lip kind of understanding. Mostly no one knows (or cares) what kind of day you've had. If you've just gotten crushed, prepare to find your competitors and frenemies preening (wait, maybe they've only shared their success...) 10/
If you get upset by seeing certain other people succeed, well, 1) you're human, and 2) you might ask, do you have to feel this way? Does it help you to feel this way? If not, change your mind. 11/
Sometimes it does help. You can be legitimately spurred to action by the injustice you perceive in others' recognition. I myself am fueled by rage at times. 12/ https://xkcd.com/386/
On the flip side, if you have not yet encountered the concept of metta, which is (very roughly) loving kindness directed at another person, you might try it and find your experience of folks you disdain upgraded in unusually deep ways. 13/
Plus: there is actually an art to humblebragging. Not all humility is authentic -- especially the bit where folks declare their humility. You know, mix it up a bit. Buy a thesaurus. 14/
Jealousy, competitiveness, benchmarking, rage at injustice, and so on are real, and not all of them are universally counterproductive. Along with delight and vicarious joy, they are normal responses to your success. You can use your success to power some compassion. 15/
As a parting shot: the idea that one should not celebrate because others are suffering is wrong on so many levels, and particularly so on social media. 16/
Someone else is always suffering, and always worse than you. Always. You, my friend, are (for much of humanity) a yacht owner either celebrating their new yacht or complaining that it got dinged in the harbor by ne'er-do-wells. This is true of virtually all people. 17/
And in this sense, as soon as we step onto a global stage (welcome to Twitter!) -- well, make your peace with it. You'll be announcing your success to somebody who lost their parent this morning. If you don't know this, I am truly sorry to be the one to tell you. 18/
They should remember that you might also have lost something irreplaceable this morning, have no intention of announcing your loss to the planet, and nevertheless have just gotten a sliver of good news when your student received a prestigious fellowship. 19/
Not that you need to have suffered to be able to celebrate your success. Us older folks know: enjoy success when it happens, there will be plenty of trouble down the road, and plenty more joy after that. And then also pain. Much pain. 20/
You can't stop people from getting upset at your success. Not your job. Please know there are lots of folks out here who are just waiting to have their day brightened by your killer new results, your latest prize, your grant triumph, your promotion. 21/
But not me. For me, your overshared successes provide valuable tactical information and kindle within me a white-hot rage that fuels everything I do. 
22/fin
22/fin
