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1/
#WhatsYourWhy: Day 4 of 7
Senior Center
I stood with my gloved hands folded as she approached my station.
Her: *calling out* “Sorry I’m moving so slow.
Me: “It’s okay. Take your time.”
Slowly she approached, leaning her weight onto a four-prong cane with each step.
#WhatsYourWhy: Day 4 of 7
Senior Center
I stood with my gloved hands folded as she approached my station.
Her: *calling out* “Sorry I’m moving so slow.
Me: “It’s okay. Take your time.”
Slowly she approached, leaning her weight onto a four-prong cane with each step.
2/
She handed me her consent form and ID.
Me: “Hi! My name is Dr. Manning. I’ll be administering your #COVIDVaccine today.”
Her: *nodding* “Nice to meet you. I’m Eloise.”
Me: “Likewise, Ms. Eloise. Thanks for being so patient with us.”
Her: “It’s okay.”
*name/details changed
She handed me her consent form and ID.
Me: “Hi! My name is Dr. Manning. I’ll be administering your #COVIDVaccine today.”
Her: *nodding* “Nice to meet you. I’m Eloise.”
Me: “Likewise, Ms. Eloise. Thanks for being so patient with us.”
Her: “It’s okay.”
*name/details changed
3/
Me: “Ms. Eloise, you right-handed or left-handed?”
Her; “I’m both handed. I was left but when I was little mama’nem made me learn to use my right.”
Me: *chuckling* “Well, let’s see. . . .which arm do you prefer me to give your shot in?”
Her: “Really? Neither.”
*laughter*
Me: “Ms. Eloise, you right-handed or left-handed?”
Her; “I’m both handed. I was left but when I was little mama’nem made me learn to use my right.”
Me: *chuckling* “Well, let’s see. . . .which arm do you prefer me to give your shot in?”
Her: “Really? Neither.”
*laughter*
4/
Me: “How ‘bout we go with the left today?”
Her: *removing her coat* “That sound fine.”
She seemed nervous. Her eyes glistened with tears and her hands trembled as she clumsily tried to pull up her sleeve.
Me: “You need some help, Ms. Eloise?”
Her: “I’m ok.”
Me: “How ‘bout we go with the left today?”
Her: *removing her coat* “That sound fine.”
She seemed nervous. Her eyes glistened with tears and her hands trembled as she clumsily tried to pull up her sleeve.
Me: “You need some help, Ms. Eloise?”
Her: “I’m ok.”
5/
I cleaned off her deltoid with an alcohol swab.
Me: “Ms. Eloise? You okay?”
Her entire body was trembling. I sat back down and waited for her to respond.
Ms. Eloise drew in a big breath. Then she glanced over at the syringe lying next to me. Tears pooled in her eyes.
I cleaned off her deltoid with an alcohol swab.
Me: “Ms. Eloise? You okay?”
Her entire body was trembling. I sat back down and waited for her to respond.
Ms. Eloise drew in a big breath. Then she glanced over at the syringe lying next to me. Tears pooled in her eyes.
6/
Her: “I know this good for me. But I am so, so scared.”
I touched her arm which immediately made her start weeping.
Her: *pulling a tissue from her purse* “I’m sorry. I just. . . .whew.”
She gave her head a tiny shake.
Me: “It's okay, Ms. Eloise. Let’s talk about it.”
Her: “I know this good for me. But I am so, so scared.”
I touched her arm which immediately made her start weeping.
Her: *pulling a tissue from her purse* “I’m sorry. I just. . . .whew.”
She gave her head a tiny shake.
Me: “It's okay, Ms. Eloise. Let’s talk about it.”
7/
Her: “I know y'all in a hurry and it’s a lot of folks waiting.”
Me: “Right now, I’m with you. And we have a lot of stations. Let’s talk about what’s making you feel scared.”
Ms. Eloise patted her cheeks with a crumbling piece of Kleenex. Then she gave a lop-sided shrug.
Her: “I know y'all in a hurry and it’s a lot of folks waiting.”
Me: “Right now, I’m with you. And we have a lot of stations. Let’s talk about what’s making you feel scared.”
Ms. Eloise patted her cheeks with a crumbling piece of Kleenex. Then she gave a lop-sided shrug.
8/
Her: “I . . I just feel scared. Not of the needle or nothing. Just . . . like. . .maybe I’m doing the wrong thing taking this shot.”
Me: *listening* “Hmm. What makes you say that?”
Her: “Well. For starters, one of my sons was mad with me for coming over here.”
Hmmm.
Her: “I . . I just feel scared. Not of the needle or nothing. Just . . . like. . .maybe I’m doing the wrong thing taking this shot.”
Me: *listening* “Hmm. What makes you say that?”
Her: “Well. For starters, one of my sons was mad with me for coming over here.”
Hmmm.
9/
Her: “He said, ‘Mama, I don’t wont you taking that shot! Them folks don’t care 'bout you. It’s all a plot!’”
Ooph.
Me: “Wow. That’s hard.”
Her: “But my daughter say, ‘Mama, you need it, don’t listen to him!’ And my son and her got to arguing. All over me taking this shot.”
Her: “He said, ‘Mama, I don’t wont you taking that shot! Them folks don’t care 'bout you. It’s all a plot!’”
Ooph.
Me: “Wow. That’s hard.”
Her: “But my daughter say, ‘Mama, you need it, don’t listen to him!’ And my son and her got to arguing. All over me taking this shot.”
10/
Her: “And he said, ‘All she care about is you watching her kids. She don’t care 'bout them injecting you with something bad.’ And she started yelling at him saying it ain’t true and that she just don’t want me to die.”
She started crying again when she said that part.
Her: “And he said, ‘All she care about is you watching her kids. She don’t care 'bout them injecting you with something bad.’ And she started yelling at him saying it ain’t true and that she just don’t want me to die.”
She started crying again when she said that part.
11/
Me: “I’m so sorry, Ms. Eloise.”
Her: *weeping and shaking her head*
Me: “Do your grandkids live here in Atlanta?”
Her: *nodding* “Yes ma’am. I got 6 grands. All here.”
Me: “That’s a blessing.”
Her: “Yeah. God been good to me.”
She put emphasis on the word "good."
Me: “I’m so sorry, Ms. Eloise.”
Her: *weeping and shaking her head*
Me: “Do your grandkids live here in Atlanta?”
Her: *nodding* “Yes ma’am. I got 6 grands. All here.”
Me: “That’s a blessing.”
Her: “Yeah. God been good to me.”
She put emphasis on the word "good."
12/
Ambient noise from the several other vaccine stations in the vacuous room filled a pause in our conversation. No one seemed to be paying attention to us.
Me: “So. . .what do YOU think?”
Her: *looking at me* “About what?”
Me: “About what’s best for YOU.”
She shrugged again.
Ambient noise from the several other vaccine stations in the vacuous room filled a pause in our conversation. No one seemed to be paying attention to us.
Me: “So. . .what do YOU think?”
Her: *looking at me* “About what?”
Me: “About what’s best for YOU.”
She shrugged again.
13/
Her: “I think. . . “ *voice trembling again* “I think I want to do what’s gon’ let me hug my grandkids without being scared.”
Me: *nodding*
Her: *weeping* “I think. . .I’m more scared of going another year not hugging my grands than I am of. . .of whatever.”
Of whatever.
Her: “I think. . . “ *voice trembling again* “I think I want to do what’s gon’ let me hug my grandkids without being scared.”
Me: *nodding*
Her: *weeping* “I think. . .I’m more scared of going another year not hugging my grands than I am of. . .of whatever.”
Of whatever.
14/
Me: “Ms. Eloise, I bet you’ve seen a lot of. . . whatever.”
Her: *sigh* “Yeah. I have.”
*silence*
Me: “You know? My mom was here today. She got her vaccine, too. For a lot of the same reasons as you.”
Her: “Your own mama? That gave birth to you?”
I laughed. She did not.
Me: “Ms. Eloise, I bet you’ve seen a lot of. . . whatever.”
Her: *sigh* “Yeah. I have.”
*silence*
Me: “You know? My mom was here today. She got her vaccine, too. For a lot of the same reasons as you.”
Her: “Your own mama? That gave birth to you?”
I laughed. She did not.
15/
Me: “Yes, ma’am. My own mama.”
Her: “You arranged for her to come?”
Me: “I did.”
She stared at me intently.
Me: “I’ve had it, too.”
Her: “You have?”
Me: “The first dose, yes ma’am.”
Her: “So. . . . you think. . .you think I’m choosing right?”
Me: “I do.”
I do.
Me: “Yes, ma’am. My own mama.”
Her: “You arranged for her to come?”
Me: “I did.”
She stared at me intently.
Me: “I’ve had it, too.”
Her: “You have?”
Me: “The first dose, yes ma’am.”
Her: “So. . . . you think. . .you think I’m choosing right?”
Me: “I do.”
I do.
16/
After that, I told Ms. Eloise a little more about how the vaccine works. I even shared that I’d been enrolled in a clinical trial for the very vaccine she was getting. She seemed to like that.
Me: “Ms. Eloise? You can also say no today. And think about it some more.”
After that, I told Ms. Eloise a little more about how the vaccine works. I even shared that I’d been enrolled in a clinical trial for the very vaccine she was getting. She seemed to like that.
Me: “Ms. Eloise? You can also say no today. And think about it some more.”
17/
Her: “I know. But no amount a waiting gon’ change what got me anxious.”
Me: “Okay.”
Her: “I made my mind up. I’m ready.”
I pulled on a new pair of gloves and re-cleaned her arm with an alcohol pad. After giving her skin a squeeze, I plunged the tiny needle into her arm.
Her: “I know. But no amount a waiting gon’ change what got me anxious.”
Me: “Okay.”
Her: “I made my mind up. I’m ready.”
I pulled on a new pair of gloves and re-cleaned her arm with an alcohol pad. After giving her skin a squeeze, I plunged the tiny needle into her arm.
18/
Her: *squeezing her eyes* “Tell me when.”
Me: “I did it already.”
Her: *looking incredulous* “You did it already?!”
Me: “Yes ma’am.”
*laughter*
She stood up and I helped her into her coat. I gave her instructions for next steps and thanked her for protecting us all.
Her: *squeezing her eyes* “Tell me when.”
Me: “I did it already.”
Her: *looking incredulous* “You did it already?!”
Me: “Yes ma’am.”
*laughter*
She stood up and I helped her into her coat. I gave her instructions for next steps and thanked her for protecting us all.
19/
Her: “What’s your name again?"
Me: "Dr. Manning. Kimberly Manning."
Her: “Kimberly, you made me feel better. And I’m gon’ be praying for you, okay? Dr. Kimberly Manning.”
Me: “I’d like that.”
I would.
And I could tell that she meant it, too.
Her: “What’s your name again?"
Me: "Dr. Manning. Kimberly Manning."
Her: “Kimberly, you made me feel better. And I’m gon’ be praying for you, okay? Dr. Kimberly Manning.”
Me: “I’d like that.”
I would.
And I could tell that she meant it, too.
20/
Wanting to hug grandkids.
Afraid of “whatever" -- but not as much as fear of being disconnected from the ones who matter most.
Or the conflict surrounding her choice.
This was her why.
Hers.
Thank you, Ms. Eloise. I think you did the right thing.
#BlackWhysMatter
Wanting to hug grandkids.
Afraid of “whatever" -- but not as much as fear of being disconnected from the ones who matter most.
Or the conflict surrounding her choice.
This was her why.
Hers.
Thank you, Ms. Eloise. I think you did the right thing.
#BlackWhysMatter
