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Since I became a mum, I’ve been really angry at the women of the older generation. Most of them do not speak about the toll being a mum takes on your mental health and it’s so unfair.
All they mention is labor pains (which they even downplay) that shii hurts 50x more and the ‘rush of love’ you will feel as soon as you set eyes on your baby.
I honestly didn’t feel any rush of love on seeing my baby. The first thing that came to my mind was, “finally it’s over”
I honestly didn’t feel any rush of love on seeing my baby. The first thing that came to my mind was, “finally it’s over”
I felt relief not rush of love. Then proud. Proud that I kept him safe through the pregnancy.
The following weeks were crippled with anxiety. Anxiety about how he could get an infection or get sick or even die.
I learned about SIDS and it tripled my anxiety.
The following weeks were crippled with anxiety. Anxiety about how he could get an infection or get sick or even die.
I learned about SIDS and it tripled my anxiety.
I would stay up most night just watching him sleep and panic if I don’t see his chest moving. Then the anxiety of people coming around and touching him. Or your mum or mother in law doing something and quickly reaching for my phone to google if it’s safe.
And on and on. The anxiety, paranoia, fear, it never stops. From one thing to the next.
I had to start asking questions and every single mother I have asked has the same exact fears! I wasn’t over doing it after all.
So my question is why? Why aren’t we prepared properly?
I had to start asking questions and every single mother I have asked has the same exact fears! I wasn’t over doing it after all.
So my question is why? Why aren’t we prepared properly?
It’s almost a taboo to talk about your feelings as a mother. I was scared my baby could die in his sleep and the first time I said that out loud the reply I got was God forbid from the person that I said it to.
Why didn’t God forbid for the other babies that have died that way?
Why didn’t God forbid for the other babies that have died that way?
Some new mums suffer from postpartum depression silently because God forbid you say it out loud that you sometimes look at your baby and just resent him/her.
Yes, mothers who are depressed sometimes resent or hate the child.
Yes, mothers who are depressed sometimes resent or hate the child.
I am very sure based on the little research I have done that the older mothers felt the same way and instead of equipping us adequately they kept quiet out of shame. “You’re a woman, you have to be strong”
This nonsense needs to stop.
This nonsense needs to stop.
Being a mum doesn’t just change your body, it changes your mind. It changes the way you think. Every woman needs to know this and go into it well prepared so you don’t feel shocked or confused when you feel or think certain things.
Those feelings are normal.
Those feelings are normal.
You’re allowed to not be strong, you’re allowed to break down and cry if you need to, you’re allowed to ask for help, you’re allowed to want time away from your kids, you’re allowed to go out and have some fun as well.
There’s no shame in the miracle our bodies are made for.
There’s no shame in the miracle our bodies are made for.
