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What is sexual grooming? What are the signs of grooming? What to do if you or someone you know is being groomed? [THREAD]
Grooming is a slow, intentional process of manipulating a person to a point where they can be victimized and prepared for sexual activity at a later time. It's hard to identify the signs of grooming until much later, because it can often seem like caring behaviour, but it's NOT.
1. It's important to know that anyone can be a victim. Some people might be more susceptible than others, for example, minors, but it can occur at any age. Other factors like gullibility, insecurity, culture etc. It starts with TARGETING the victim and then BUILDING TRUST.
2. Some people make easier targets. They prey on children suffering from isolation, loneliness, or children who're at very low points in their lives, or just very trusting kids who want to feel included. It's strategic, and in no way accidental. It doesn't "just happen".
3. Groomers don't start with abuse directly, but instead with a friendship. They can start with sliding into your DMs, mentioning some of the interests you might have talked about on your social media, pretending you have mutuals etc. Basically any info that makes you trust them.
4. Groomers often use favours to build trust and so that the victim lets down their guard, like keeping small promises, complimenting them often, giving small gifts, making them feel "special". Groomers insert themselves into the daily life of the victim and start to isolate them
5. They might ask the victim to keep the relationship a secret, even the early non-sexual aspects of it. "Let's not tell anyone". This might make the victim feel special and flattered, but in reality, it's separating them from people who care for them. This is a control tactic.
6. It's hard to distinguish grooming from "romance". It's a slow process and the victim might not often realize they are being groomed. If you've a gut feeling that something isn't right, trust it. You shouldn't feel you are being taken advantage of. Love is supposed to be mutual
If you think you are being groomed, I promise you you can get out. Maybe you're reading this post rn and feeling that something isn't right about your relationship. If so, please reach out to us. We also have a link of pro bono therapists in our bio. Please check it out.
If you think someone around you is being groomed, you need to tread carefully. Grooming victims are often brainwashed and feel like they don't need help. Police and legal action becomes difficult. Seeking the help of a professional would be better.
It's important to listen to the victim and support them. Build trust slowly. Going behind their back and attempting something might backfire. If the abuser senses a threat, they can become more abusive. Don't EVER victim blame. Believe them. Help them. Be there for them.
