I've been thinking a lot (again) about all the encouragement for women to drop "hedge words": the words that soften what we're trying to say.

But in my experience, when I drop them, it's received very poorly. This isn't about whether people like me, but whether I get shit done.
I still receive this guidance regularly, but in the workplace I see that when I stop softening/caveating/etc...I lose people. The work I want to accomplish requires more than just me. That means a tradeoff for now: watch my tone in order to have my work have the impact I want.
It's also really hard when you have no other women in your teams or leadership chains. I tried to adopt the communication styles of my male colleagues because it was the only example I had and well...suffice to say it didn't go over well.
I think I've found a decent balance as of now, but it's taken many years and still something I have to be constantly thinking about. Trying wording something x way: what's the response? Ok I'll try y this time: what's that response? and on...
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