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I personally don't date people who hold onto any sort of concept of monogamy because, to me, a person who is open to it at all isn't polyamorous, but I think if its a word that makes sense to you, then that's good. https://twitter.com/Lemonad80973875/status/1353836113903890433
I've made several videos about this but to me "ambiamorous" people still place a value on monogamy and that's why in the past when I've attempted to date people like that, I get left behind for the person who pressures them into monogamy.
Ambiamorous people like to downplay this but it's hard for me not to see that as truth. In my opinion, polyamory isn't something you "do" before finding someone "serious" to settle down with monogamously.
I think far too many people are labeling themselves polyamorous, when what they really mean is they're non monogamous currently, but open to monogamous relationships. Which is how most monogamous people are but there's this current push for transparency about this.
I think it's good that people are pushing for transparency when people are dating around because they are a lot of unspoken consent issues that come up when you're dating multiple people, but to me that's very different than being polyamorous. It's similar but not the same.
Most people I've met that are ambiamorous sort of function from this idea that commitment is only something that you do in a monogamous relationship, whereas I see polyamory as several commitments to several different people.
That's why when people say they're polyamorous, I try to make sure we have the same definition. Because a person who would be monogamous, isn't polyamorous.
Monogamy is incredibly alienating and unwelcoming to me. Dating people who see it as the thing they'd give the person they value most is toxic. So I personally avoid ambiamorous/open relationships etc.
It's just important for me that we both function from a similar understanding of non-monogamy
