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Hello friends. It's #worldcancer day. It's not really news to my followers that I lost my mum to cancer a few years ago, but with recent conversation around NHS funding I wanted to talk about a poorly funded charity close to my heart. Please indulge me.
I want to talk about Cruse Bereavement, as I think that whilst it was a vital service for me, it is of HUGE importance this year so many people have lost a loved one in terrible circumstances. I used Cruse a few months after mum died. I went to a group therapy session for 8 weeks
It was a real life saver. There were 6 of us, and eventually we were able to discuss what we'd been through in a room of people who understand. Who'd suffered in different but similar ways, and my main take away was this.
Watching my mother die was the most traumatic, awful thing that has ever happened to me. I think about moments from that night every single day. BUT, one thing I realised through these sessions that the only thing that could have been worse would have been not being there.
In my group, 3 people were there when their loved ones died. 3 weren't. The ones who were there had horrible, painful memories, but the ones who weren't were struggling more to accept what happened. I look at 2020 and feel sick thinking of all the people who couldn't be there.
Who couldn't see the body or say goodbye properly. Plus all the people who will have lost people like I lost my mum, from horrible illnesses they watched. The strain on Cruse will ENORMOUS. I am thrilled to see they've got some limited gov funding this year, but
the mental health toll for people who have lost people, who've grieved alone, will be huge. So many people will need a service like Cruse. I cannot overstate the difference it made for me. The other 5 members of my group and I are still in touch...
we check in on anniversaries, hear about bad days that can't be shared with people who haven't experienced it, and gently celebrate moments of moving into the future in our new and delicate joys.
I realise this started as a post about cancer, but I really want people to think about the grief that people have experienced alone over the last year. It's staggering. I cannot imagine how much more awful my grief would have been had i lost mum in 2020...
and there are so many people who will need help. Cruse is free. It's there for people who can't afford surgery sessions. They do group, phone, and 1 on 1. Please, if you are lucky enough to have a little spare cash during this pandemic, donate to Cruse. https://www.cruse.org.uk/get-help/local-services/south/west-sussex/donate
Thank you for listening to this stream of consciousness. I realise it's a bit muddled, but it's heartfelt. I lie awake thinking of the people who've lost loved ones for whatever reason, and didn't have the opportunities and support network I had.
In the manner of this approach, I of course have the wrong link. It's this one. https://www.cruse.org.uk/donate
