Read on Twitter
I was talking to my partner last night about how nothing feels satisfying or enjoyable, how it's hard to get out of bed, how I feel restless yet fatigued, how I feel so down every day...the list goes on. He turns to me and goes, "so...you're feeling depressed?" (1/9)
I knew he was right. I had pretty much just listed the DSM diagnostic criteria of depression–which I am very familiar with as both a therapist and as someone who has lived with depression for 10+ years. And with that realization came another feeling: embarrassment. Shame. (2/9)
I've never been one to hide my mental health history, even as a therapist. Though, keyword here being "history." When it comes to my current struggles and symptoms...that's a different story. That's too vulnerable, too risky, too much. I feel shame for being here again. (3/9)
Self-stigma is something I am unraveling every day. Every time I think I got it all, I find more of it in the nooks and crannies of my brain. It's been ingrained in me for years–by ex-providers, ex-friends, ex-partners...by media, treatment, society. (4/9)
The internalized stigma I carry is a weight I am tired of holding, but what's worse are the actual risks. How stigmatization and ableism make it so disclosing any struggle–even outside of the context of therapy, and especially if it's current–is a risk to our career. (5/9)
It just illuminates the stigmatizing beliefs that are held about people who have mental health struggles. The assumption that it must be impeding our work or impairing our ability to do our jobs is ableist. There's no other way to put it. (6/9)
And, YES, of course it can affect our work. Just as anything we are going through can– a divorce, a physical illness, a financial problem, a pandemic. We're not impaired every time we have something going on in our lives. If that were the case there would be no therapists. (7/9)
Yet when it comes to a current mental health struggle, it feels taboo to talk about. If I say that I am struggling, it feels like everyone will think I'm incapable, incompetent, and unethical. And odds are, there will be some people who think that. And that's unfortunate. (8/9)
Because therapists are human. & I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'm not, or feel shame for it. I'm not going to censor myself or suffer in silence because of my job choice. I'm a person, who happens to be a therapist, who's depressed right now. And that's okay. (9/9)
& since I have a public profile, I'll add this: any current or future clients who may see this– hi! I have depression too. But I've got my own therapist, supervisors, & support, so that I can continue to support you. And if you have questions or concerns, let's talk about it. 
