Speaking to friends who are totally traumatised by growing up queer, and feel unable to talk about it bc we just get told to cut off loved ones when we talk about how homophobia, femmephobia, transphobia etc manifests. Got me thinking about how neoliberal identity politics... 1/5
...leaves so little space for growth and the complexities of relationships. The hyper-individualisation of struggle and identity is fucked - sometimes we DO take on the job of educating people we care about because we don’t want to lose them. It shouldn’t be an imperative...2/
...but it’s not weakness or “not radical” to do so. Too many allies are too comfortable distancing themselves from any complicity in homophobia by insisting that it’s “toxic” not to immediately cut people off for not immediately unlearning decades of socialised prejudice. 3/
This is really glaringly apparent with white allies talking about diaspora/faith communities. At the same time, often allies from within those communities try to dictate how much queer people should put up with, how deferential we should be, how much patience we should have... 4/
...before cutting contact for our own wellbeing. And then the gay male community in particular pits both against each other - you’re brave/selfish for stepping away or weak/noble for persevering. Not really got a conclusion, just wish it wasn’t like this. 5/5